The TeaCosy
by Ireina Kurotsuki
Summary: NC17- Yaoi, lemon. NWS. YBxYYxY. Have you ever heard the saying: ‘you wouldn’t know the truth if it put a teacosy on its head and danced naked in front of you.’? This is the story in which Bakura does just that and Yami and Yugi get certain ideas…


**The Tea-Cosy  
**

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Disclaimer: (pron.; ds-klmr.) 1.defined, in English1.2, as a statement made to save one's own ass from legal issues. 2. law: 'I own nothing'. 

-I don't know where I got the above quote from, but it's not mine either

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Rated NC-17 for lemon/lime

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WARNING!: Yaoi- Yami x Bakura x Yugi. Definite lime, and definite lemon. So if you can't handle guy-on-guy threesomes, or are under thirteen, then it would be best for you to use the 'back' button right now and save my butt from being fried by your parents complaining to FanFiction admin.

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First lemon- and I _had_ to do a threesome... --;

I wasn't originally sure if I could post this, so I cut the full lemon from the end, and I may upload it onto AdultFanfiction if there's enough interest expressed. At any rate, I've seen more explicit scenes... So hopefully I won't get in trouble for uploading this.

The idea came to me when I was on a camping trip with my friend. The following is a product of inuyashagirl818 encouraging excessive lolly consumption and my resulting sugar-high. Funnily enough, I still thought the idea was interesting after the sugar-high wore off... Interesting, that.

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In a room, in a small house was a bed. In that bed, there lay three very tired, dozing men. One, (on the left) with outrageously spiked hair and amethyst eyes, another (on the right) very similar in looks, save for the darkly tanned skin and ruby eyes.

Both these two lay with their arms entwined about the third male- this one with a mass of white hair draped out over the pillows, shockingly pale skin and half-lidded red-brown eyes.

Strewn across the floor (and quite a lot of the furniture) was a large assortment of clothing and downstairs, in pride of place atop a lamp sat a single brightly coloured tea-cosy.

How did all of this happen, I hear you ask?

Well, it all began with that seemingly innocent tea-cosy…

**--------------------------------------------- **

"Aibou?"

"Mmmhmm?" the amethyst-eyed male said absently, looking up from his typing.

"Do you know what a 'tea-cosy' is?" came a fairly random question from the tanned male with curious ruby eyes.

The other raised his eyebrows. "Tea-cosy? Where'd you hear that word?" Truth be told, _he_ didn't know quite what a tea-cosy was.

"Nevermind that, I just want to know what one is…"

This continued for perhaps an hour before they were arguing over possible items in the house that might own the mysterious name of 'tea-cosy'.

This was when the semi-albino joined the fracas. "What the _hell_ are you two arguing about? I heard you lot all the way upstairs!"

The others merely ignored him and continued their… erm… 'disagreement'

The white-haired man narrowed his blood-red eyes, not at all appreciative of being ignored.

"No Yami, I'm fairly sure that's definitely a _lampshade_. But- _that_ looks like it could be a 'tea-cosy'." argued the smaller amethyst eyed male.

"But Yugi- you told me last week that was a 'tea-_strainer_'!!"

Correctly deducing the cause of their argument to be the identity of this 'tea-cosy' thing, he quickly scanned the memories he'd gained from the part-British boy with whom he had shared a body with back when he was still just a spirit.

He hit the jackpot. Being part Brit, the boy had more memories to do with tea than perhaps was healthy. Among these was a memory of his mother's favourite tea-cosy….

"Both of you…" he started. He never finished because the other two were too busy 'debating' to hear him. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, thoroughly sick and tired of being ignored.

From the odd third-dimension where many anime characters store random stuff for usage, he pulled a one-man-band set, strapped it on and set about making as much noise as possible.

They continued to ignore him, preferring instead to continue yelling. Indeed, they seemed not to have noticed that he had even entered the room.

Not one to give up easily, the pale-skinned man shrugged off the heavy music-making set and thought for a brief second.

"Oi, baka Pharaoh! Marik's out the front demanding the Sennen Rod back. Says he's got something called 'dynamite' and he's not afraid to use it."

Not a flicker of acknowledgement. Not that he'd actually thought he was _going_ to be noticed…

_'That pharaoh is so Ra-damned **stubborn** when he thinks he's right, the idiot wouldn't notice the reality of the situation if it put a multi-coloured tea-cosy on its head and danced around naked in front of him! And Yugi's almost as bad…' _he thought absently as he contemplated how he might go about attracting their attention.

'_Actually…'_ he thought wickedly. '_That could work…_'

He gracefully rose from his position on the floor, uncrossing his legs and silently the one-time Spirit of the Sennen Ring (also known as Bakura, or Touzokuou- King of Thieves) slunk around the obliviously arguing pair of spiky-haired men and into the kitchen.

"Now where could it be…" he muttered to himself. Now that he knew what a tea-cosy was (courtesy of his yadounishi's memories) he remembered seeing one in their kitchen.

Knitted with a huge variety of colours it was bright, colourful and _perfect_ for what he had in mind.

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"I swear you're the most _obstinate_ spirit I've _ever_ met!" yelled the smaller male.

"I'm nowhere _near_ as bad…as…" the taller, ruby eyed male paused. "… Bakura?" he finished, _finally_ noticing the semi-albino male over Yugi's shoulder, jaw dropping.

"What?!" asked Yugi impatiently. "Don't change the subject!" Yami merely took him by the shoulders and, not removing his eyes from the… sight in front of him, swivelled his Aibou around.

The teen's violet eyes widened, jaw dropping. "Bakura?!"

**--------------------------------------------- **

Their '_friend_' had found what he thought was an ingenious way to attract their attention. Upon finally recovering the brightly-coloured tea-cosy (what it was doing in the appliance cupboard was anyone's guess) he had proceeded to place it atop his mop of silvery white hair before divesting himself of every article of clothing on his body.

Deciding against the idea of actually _dancing_, he merely decided to stroll into the room and allow his lean and toned white body to do the rest of the work _for_ him.

Judging from the Pharaoh's half-lidded ruby eyes and heated expression and Yugi's pink face his plan had definitely worked.

What he didn't know was while it _had_ worked... It had worked… Too well…

Now that he finally had their undivided attention, he could finally tell them what he had been _trying_ to tell them all along. "A tea-cosy…" he said softly. "Is a cotton or wool covering for a teapot to keep it warm.

Yugi stepped forward. "Ah." he said, reaching up and lightly touching the multicoloured thing atop Bakura's head. "You know…" he said in a seductive tone that Bakura would never have thought Yugi could produce.

"That tea-cosy…" Yami added in an equally seductive voice.

"Really ruins…" Yugi continued.

"The _view_." they chorused together, smirking.

Yami strode right up to a slightly flushed Bakura and pulled the tea-cosy from his head, tossing it over his shoulder to land on a lamp. He stepped back as though to admire his handiwork, and taking advantage of his yami's retreat, Yugi took the opportunity to move in and place a kiss on Bakura's cool lips.

"Aibou! That's not fair." Yami tutted smirking. "_I_ wanted to do that." He sighed. "I suppose I'll just have to…" he continued, moving back in. He trailed kisses down along the ex-tomb robber's jawline, nipping his earlobe (to a soft moan from said male) before moving down his neck, lifting the soft mass of hair from the nape of his neck and laying a soft, delicate kiss upon the exposed skin, tongue darting out lightly to taste Bakura's sensitive skin.

"Quit that… Pharaoh!" he gasped.

"Oh stop complaining Bakura." Yugi said, Yami continuing his ministrations, sun-kissed hands beginning to drift over snowy pale skin. "You know you like it." he continued wickedly.

It was at this point that Yugi joined his darker half in stroking the smooth flesh of their… well I suppose you _could_ say victim… Except Bakura was enjoying himself, so perhaps another word would be more appropriate…

At any rate, this was when Bakura realised the unfairness of the situation, for he pushed the two almost identical men off him.

"You know it is _most_ unfair."

"What?" asked Yugi, seeming slightly hurt.

"I'm completely naked, but you're both still fully clothed! I feel it is _high _time I fixed that." Bakura said, purposely pitching his voice low and temptingly sultry.

He grabbed the other two by the wrists and began to pull them up the stairs to the bedroom.

**--------------------------------------------- **

Once they got there, Bakura set to work. Carefully he slid his hands under the lapels of Yugi's jacket, sliding the scrap of blue material from his young lover's shoulders.

Apparently Yami had decided to join him, for his long fingers were the ones deftly unbuckling the leather jewellery from Yugi's neck.

Yugi, (who was rather enjoying all this attention from two such delicious men) did not move to assist them, merely making small noises as a pale hand moved under his shirt and over bare skin, or darker fingers hooked under the waistline of his leather pants.

Every article the two yami removed was thrown away impatiently across various items of furniture, until the smallest of the three stood completely bare before them. Bakura smirked, before turning to the only member of the trio still wearing clothes and licked his lips. "You're next, Pharaoh." And with that he pushed Yami onto the bed.

Yugi joined them, unbuckling Yami's leather choker the same way Yami had removed his. Unfortunately, Bakura was not patient enough to undo another extraordinary amount of buckles…

His mouth stretched into a sensual smirk, russet eyes lighting up as he leant across a now heavily breathing Yami and pulled open the drawer on the nightstand. Almost ceremoniously he lifted out a slender dagger before settling back into a kneeling position beside the tanned male lying on the bed.

"This is taking too long, Pharaoh. Move aside, Yugi." he ordered, and Yugi nodded, moving back out of his way.

Yami's ruby eyes widened, before gaining a gleam similar to the one present in Bakura's. He smiled. "Well, then? What are you waiting for, thief? These pants are truly becoming uncomfortable." he said mischievously, gesturing to the bulge straining against the leather.

"Don't move then." Bakura said softly, and he flipped the dagger in his hand expertly before the point of the thing pricked Yami's jacket at the right shoulder. Swiftly he moved his hand and the sharp dagger sliced the blue material down the sleeve, showing the white fabric of the shirt beneath it.

Leaning his weight onto Yami, he reached and sliced and another sleeve ripped open. Yugi then took it upon himself to remove the now ruined jacket from Bakura's way, tossing it absently over his shoulder, somewhat more interested in focusing on the curiously erotic act unfolding before him.

The metal flashed, and Yami's dark-skinned chest was exposed with a slight shiver from Yami. Bakura leant in for a second and placed a kiss on the now un-covered skin to a moan from the male beneath him.

Yugi felt a shiver race over him at the sound and half groaned himself.

Bakura shot him a side-long glance, eyes half-lidded and burning. His face split into a cat-like grin. "Don't worry, little Yugi. Don't think I've forgotten _you_." he purred, before turning back to Yami.

With several more languid slices, Bakura had removed his darkly tanned lover's shirt completely. The only things now left on Yami's body were his leather pants and whatever underwear he had chosen to wear that day. Bakura leered at Yami. "Do you want me to rid you of the rest of it?" he inquired wickedly.

"Ra yes!"

"Say it."

Yami rolled his eyes in frustration. "Stop fucking around and do it already thief!" he exclaimed.

"Glad to oblige." With a flourish, Bakura slowly sliced the offending leather from Yami's body.

As it turned out, Yami (unlike his Aibou) had not worn underwear beneath his tight leather pants.

The semi-albino and the amethyst eyed teen widened their eyes, Bakura tossing aside the dagger distractedly; (Yugi actually blushed slightly- his other half was _definitely_ well endowed, and it never failed to impress him.) before Yami, grinning wickedly at their obviously approving reactions was descended upon by the both of them at once- Yugi had him locked in a passionate French kiss, while Bakura's mouth was otherwise occupied, trailing wet kisses from the tanned man's ear, down his neck and trailing across his chest.

Yami gasped in the middle of plundering Yugi's mouth with his tongue when he felt the thief begin to drift lower, nudging his legs apart with one of his own and teasing him with delicate butterfly-like kisses along his inner thighs.

Noticing this, Yugi looked to see what Bakura was doing to distract Yami so, and when he saw what the thief was up to, he gulped audibly, going red. Bakura looked up, and smirking wickedly he said; "You can't tell me after all this time, you're still embarrassed when I do this to Yami."

With that he took the full length of the once-pharaoh's manhood into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip as he sucked lightly.

Yami gave a surprised (yet pleased) yell at the suddenness of this action and pulled Yugi back to his mouth for a brief kiss before finding the smaller teen's sweet spot- the place where Yugi's slender peach-toned neck joined the slightly lighter skin of his shoulder, suckling ferociously to ever-increasing sighs from said teen.

Yugi in response began to slide his small, slender hands over the muscle in Yami's shoulders, kneading the sensitive flesh, finding with surprisingly skilled fingers the correct nerves to manipulate…

Soon Yami had quite given up any sense of restraint and the one-time monarch had his eyes closed as he informed the neighbours _exactly_ how pleasurable Bakura and Yugi's attentions were.

"Please! Oh **_Ra_**! _Bakura!_ ngh… _Yugi_!" he yelled. Yugi gave a self-satisfied smile at the sound of this gorgeous man calling his name, and he ghosted his fingertips upon another nerve-bundle and sent a wave of what Yami would later describe as a 'wave of burning pleasure' through his darker other half's body, while Bakura did _something_ with his mouth at the same time and Yami emptied himself in his white-haired lover's mouth, before falling back onto the pillows, spent.

Bakura sat up properly, licking his lips with a smile similar to that of a 'cat-who-got-the-cream' (And I am not going to even mention the double entendres in that phrase… Yami did once, but _that_, dear reader is another story entirely.)

Yugi went to Bakura and began to kiss him, the taste of Yami still lingering on the pale man's lips and there was even some still in his mouth.

At the arousing sight of his shorter double kissing Bakura, obviously tasting Yami's own essence- and enjoying it if his body was any clue, Yami sat up slightly, returning to a state of semi-arousal.

This time it was not Bakura who took the upper hand, as one might have expected, for Yugi's hand wrapped around the thief's prestigious manhood, and Bakura smirked before lying back on Yami, using the ex-pharaoh's body for a pillow and allowing the youngest in the trio of lovers to have free access to his body- a gift which the teen seemed determined to take advantage of.

Small, slender fingers skilfully danced over the thief's lily-pale skin, running along the different nerves, sometimes massaging them and creating a euphoric semi-stupor, sometimes barely gliding along, sending a sensation Bakura found quite like a jolt of electricity.

Yami smiled in pride at how his Aibou artfully manipulated Bakura's body to the crest time and time again, only to stop and calm the thief's body back down, teasing him till even the lightest touch was enough to cause him to become even more vocal than Yami!

The tanned male shifted under Bakura, resting the writhing man's head in the cradle of his waist. Bakura felt the movement and twisted his head around to ferociously attack Yami's lips with his own.

Their tongues battled for dominance for a brief minute, before Bakura won, plunging his tongue into the other yami's mouth.

Yami tasted himself on Bakura's tongue and instantly returned to full readiness, much to Bakura's delight. Long dark fingers entwined in white hair and Yami pulled Bakura away from his mouth and instead began to nibble the thief's earlobe.

It seemed that slight pain was all that Bakura needed, for it was almost as soon as Yami's teeth grazed his ear that he screamed his completion.

"_Yugi!! Yami!!_"

This was when the neighbours began to object.

**--------------------------------------------- **

"Shut the hell up! We don't want to hear about your perverted activites in the bedroom!" yelled an annoyed female voice.

"Fuck you, Tea!" Bakura yelled back, panting still. "She's just mad cause I've got Yami _and_ you in my bed." he confided to Yugi, who was smirking and licking his fingers.

"Come here, Aibou." The youngest of the trio obediently crawled over the blankets, only to be pulled in for a thorough kiss from his yami. "You made him scream your name. I'm so proud of you." he smirked.

"And I _did_ promise not to forget about you, didn't I, little Yugi?" Yugi's violet eyes widened and he nodded mutely. "Give me a few minutes to recover and I'll start on a few minutes to recover and I'll start on _you_, young one." Bakura smiled slyly, still lying limply against the contrasting darkness of Yami, intertwining his slender white fingers with the ex-pharaoh's long, darkly tanned ones.

Yugi gave a smile. "Sure." before joining Bakura in using Yami for a pillow.

"Since when am I a pillow?" complained Yami half-heartedly.

"Since now." Yugi smiled, snuggling into his lovers' bodies, Bakura lifting his arm to accommodate him. Yugi shifted against Bakura, buttocks pressing against his stomach.

Bakura shifted to provide Yugi with more room, instead finding himself pressing against the hard length of Yami. In response, Yugi pressed even closer, subtly grinding his hips into Bakura.

"Horny little creature, isn't he?" Yami smirked at Bakura.

"…Obviously." Bakura said in a slightly breathless tone of voice. "All right, all right! Your turn, I get it!" he said when Yugi rolled to face him, giving him a reproachful puppy-dog pout, running his hand along Bakura's white skin, trailing it down between them along his hip…

The thief caught Yugi's only marginally darker hand before it could move any lower. "Lie back then little one. Yami, I _know_ you're ready to help- I can feel you so get your lazy ass moving." ordered Bakura.

Yugi did as he was asked gleefully, but Yami couldn't resist making a comment. "But you _like_ my 'lazy' ass."

"Only when it's under me." Bakura retorted with a smirk, to which Yami rolled his eyes. "To warn you now, Yugi, I'm not feeling particularly gentle. How about we show you how the big boys play?" Bakura continued, licking his lips seductively, tooth poking over his lower lip.

"We won't do anything you don't like." murmered the dark-skinned yami, trailing the tips of his fingers down Yugi's ribs. The smaller male shuddered at the light touch and nodded. He was a _little_ wary, but he trusted them both. After all- they'd had millennia to perfect their technique. It helped that Yugi knew they would rather die than hurt him. Actually, they usually treated him as though he'd break because of his smaller stature.

Bakura grinned, showing his pointy canines before swooping on the boy's lips, kissing him as ferociously as he had Yami. He was pleasantly surprised to feel Yugi kiss him back just as roughly. Breaking away, Yami handed him two thin silk ropes. "You can tie his hands, I'll tie his legs." Yami said. Yugi's eyes widened and Bakura, noticing this gave a soft laugh.

"Trust us little one- we know what we're doing." With that, Yami trailed the silk of one rope down Yugi's left leg, making the boy give a little mewling sound. He reached the boy's slim ankle and tenderly he tied the silk around the limb before anchoring it firmly to the corresponding bedpost. He did the same with the younger male's other leg, the long silk bonds keeping his legs spread wide.

Once Bakura had done the same with Yugi's wrists, Yugi found himself spreadeagled, unable to move and completely at Yami and Bakura's mercy. And it felt _good_.

Idly he wondered what they'd do to him. This question was soon answered with a nod and a shared smirk of wicked glee between Yami and Bakura.

As one, the two started to nip his flesh, Yami starting at his feet, Bakura at his hands. Every nip was a delicious sharpness soothed by the caress of a wet tongue, eliciting increasingly loud moans from the bound teen.

The two yami continued until they met over his stomach, the darker skinned one capturing Bakura's flushed lips in a bruising kiss before they separated and began to lick his neck, working down to the small nubs of flesh on Yugi's chest.

One of Bakura's teeth kept lightly scraping across his skin (presumably by accident) with every lick, and it was driving Yugi wild! He so very dearly wanted nothing more than to push them further down his body and end the sweet torment, but he couldn't move.

It wasn't helping matters any that Yami's tongue wasn't the only thing the one-time pharaoh was rubbing over his body- every lick was accompanied by a light rubbing along Yugi's leg- and it _wasn't_ Yami's hands.

"_Yami_. He'll never last if you keep doing that." admonished Bakura sternly, but with a small smirk on his face.

"_Fine_." pouted Yami.

"Actually, I believe it is time I taught you how to suck him." Bakura said to Yami, shooting a sly glance at the silk-bound male breathing heavily in the middle of the bed.

Yami widened his eyes, before they slipped into a half-lidded gaze of such intense heat that Yugi's breathing accelerated to almost double the speed it had been not seconds ago. "Here, I'll show you first, then you copy what I do."

The white-haired thief moved between their young lover's legs, settling back before leaning forward and running his tongue along the lenghth of Yugi's manhood, circling the tip briefly before lifting him and slowly sliding the stiffened flesh into his mouth. He sucked as though it was a particularly tasty lollipop for a brief minute before removing it from his mouth. "Care to try now, Pharaoh?"

The whole time, Yami had been watching with an expression of rapt attention while his Aibou groaned and moaned Bakura's name. Eagerly he nodded his tri-coloured head and Bakura gracefully moved aside and instead began to suck Yugi's neck.

Looking up into the amethyst eyes clouded by desire belonging to Yugi, Yami began to do exactly as Bakura had instructed.

"A general rule-of-thumb is you do to him whatever feels good to you." Bakura added beween sucking the neck of a now screaming Yugi. Idly he scraped his nails not-so-lightly along the chest of said male, marking him as he generally was only able to mark the darker male.

Apparently, like Bakura, little not-so-innocent Yugi enjoyed light pain, for Yami was soon tasting Yugi's essence for the first time, and Bakura was fairly sure that Tea would soon be calling the police to complain of noise pollution.

Leaning into a trembling Yugi's ear, Bakura whispered; "Are you ready, Yugi?"

Rather than use words, the youngest of the threesome swiftly moved his head and kissed the thief on the mouth.

"I think that means 'yes', Bakura." Yami said, licking the droplets of white liquid from his lips as he slowly began to release Yugi from the silken bonds.

"The thought _had_ crossed my mind." Bakura answered dryly, russet eyes gleaming as he retrieved the dagger and simply sliced the arm-bonds from Yugi.

As soon as he was freed, Yugi leapt upon his yami lovers, kissing them both and running his small hands along both moon-pale and sun-kissed flesh and thanking whichever benevolent deity had made Yami ask what a tea-cosy was.

* * *

And, presto! My first lemonish content. Please review and let me know how I did/ how I could improve or if you just want me to upload the full lemon to AdultFanfiction and post the link here.

Smile :D

Ireina


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